Poor Kid’s

I was pulling into my driveway a few days ago when this little boy came tearing around the corner on his little bike and promptly ate cement.  He hopped back up, adjusted his “helmet”, otherwise known as a futuristic creation from the star wars science fiction costume department on drugs, and took off again.  Once again he lost control and fell.  He adjusted his helmet (safety device and took off again only to fall once more.  It was his helmet that was causing the problem.  It was so big that the kid looked like a giant mushroom.  He couldn’t see to steer and had to keep pushing it around.  I’m sure his parents are wonderful, new age, people who believe in timeout, but in trying to keep their son safe they had in fact made it more difficult for him to enjoy riding his bike. 

And it got me to thinking, (shocking I know), that the more we try to help the more we just mess fun things up.  I’m only 26 but when I was growing up I never one time wore a helmet when riding a bike.  I went headfirst over the bars into the garage wall at least twice (yes that’s probably what’s wrong with me).  I ripped my chin off going down a hill on a skateboard on my stomach.  I literally slid ten yards down a concrete hill on my chin.  You can still see the scar!  I played in the woods and swamps with the gators, snakes and leaches almost everyday. I had two friends who lived over the border in Arkansas, and we used to take shotguns into the swamp looking for wild hogs.  I had bb gun wars wearing nothing but a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.  No safety goggles or helmets allowed.  I swam in creeks, rivers with whirlpools, lakes with alligators, etc.  I rode four wheelers in abandoned gravel pits with no helmet.  Wrecked ‘em, rolled ‘em.  You name it, I probably did it including eating lead paint for lunch. 

What is the point of this rambling, somewhat incoherent, and poorly thought out discourse?  My generation and the one that is just a little older than I am have forgotten what it was like to be a kid.  We’ve forgotten the fun it was to run in a sprinkler in the summer without worrying about the dangerous chemicals that might be there, what it’s like to ride your bike and feel the wind on your head.  We have totally bought into the psycho babble that preaches how dangerous it is to just have fun.  Pretty soon we’ll all be locked down in our houses, afraid to move because we might pull a muscle.  How did we get here?  What made us so afraid to just live or let our kids have fun?  Why are we all so scared?  I mean, sure, I probably have a little brain damage from all the dumb things that I did as a kid, but I had a whole lot of fun growing up and playing tackle football without a helmet.  I am reasonably well adjusted to society even though my dad used corporal punishment.  I don’t think I ever one time got a time out!! I wouldn’t change anything about the way that I grew up.  I had a blast.  Let your kid’s, and your self for god’s sake, have fun.  You only get to live once.  Not twice, not three times.  It’s a one shot thing.  Get the most you can out of it and don’t spoil any body else’s fun along the way.  In trying to make the little boy on the bike safer by making him wear a helmet, his parents actually made it more dangerous for him because he couldn’t see.  What a dumb thing to do, huh?

All of you communist, leftist, pointy headed liberals worried about the Earth dissolving in a cloud of noxious fumes when we ruin the greenhouse layer, don’t mess with me.  I’ll go outside with a can of White Rain right now and empty it toward the heavens.  It would probably be really fun and besides, the hole in the ozone layer was put there by Pentecostal women and their hairspray.  It’s not my fault.  I’m going to ride my bike with no helmet!!!. 

Song that I really like

There is a song that I really like and I finally found it.  It is the song that is used on those really neat  Diet Dr. Pepper commercials.  It is…………..Help Yourself by Tom Jones. 

Quick aside: The two most overrated musical acts of all time: Elvis (sounds like a drunk in the shower) and The Beatles (we all live in a yellow submarine, need I say anything else?)

Friend’s

I’ve had a lot of reason to think of my friends lately.  Here’s the reason.  If you had asked me less than a year ago if I had any enemies, I would have told you flat out no.  Maybe that was a little naive but I believed it to be true.  Now, however, that situation has turned a little.  And I ‘m not just talking about what a lot of people will assume when they read this.  It’s more than that.  Oh well, that’s life right?

But then I got to thinking about my friends and family, of which I have way more than I could have ever imagined.   I particularly wanted to write about a few of them today. 

Let’s start with the two best friends that I have in the world (Like OMG they are my BFF).  Whoa, excuse me.  It was almost like my body was taken over by a teenage girl for second.  I have an unearthly desire to run to Juicy Couture.  Hold on while I shake that!!!  Ok, whew.  Jared and Dewayne.  Both of these guy’s stood as my best men at my wedding. Just because one has to be listed first and one second let me tell you a little about these guys.

Jared: We met when we were both still in diapers.  Our parents were friends and we became best friends.  Jared is a funny cat.  No one can make me laugh quite as hard as he can.  If you think that I’m sarcastic you would be amazed at how sarcastic he can be with just a look.  We’ve spent Christmas’s, vacations, summers and many more things together.  We’ve double dated, made fun of each others “significant other” ruthlessly(jared has often made fun of his own, but that’s another story) prayed, cried, and done just about everything two friends can do together.  Each June was spent in Lufkin running through mud puddles, swimming in sewage ponds, throwing mud at girls on their way to church, breaking into the concession stand, throwing mashed potatoes on Sis. Bible’s brand new curtains (thank Bro. Wheeler), climbing the Tabernacle, the dining hall, riding bikes in the Tabernacle, and many other things. Snow skiing was always a highlight.   Unfortunately, we don’t get to spend a lot of time together right now.  We’re both busy with our lives,  Jared goes to law school in Baton Rouge (Red Stick for those of you who don’t speak French) and I’m here in Sunny California.  We talk quite a bit though and I still carry a handwritten note from Jared that he gave me over two years ago.  It meant a lot then and it means a lot now.

Dewayne: We grew up together.  Have very different back grounds yet became close friends very fast.  We’re more like brothers than friends which is hilarious if you know Dewayne and me.  I can’t tell you how many times we have fought.  And I mean knock down, fist in the eye, grinding each others face in the east Texas mud fought.  But if there was anyone who ever had my back it’s Dew.  I know  that there is not a person in the world who would throw down quicker than him if someone was bad mouthing me.  Dewayne won’t lie just to make you feel better.  He tells you exactly what he is thinking and he pulls no punches.  His is the only house that I ever wanted to go to for a stay over.  We played and played and fought and played till we just about died.  The last year has been especially trying for the both of us.  Sometimes he propped me up, sometimes I propped him up.  He never had to ask and neither did I.  He was out just a few months ago and we laughed so hard that my stomach was hurting(I think that mom posted a blog about us a few months ago complete with pic’s if you’re interested)

 I love both of these guys and that doesn’t even begin to cover all the other guys and gals who I’m lucky to be able to call my friend’s.  Greg(my older brother), Jeremy, Josh, Glenn, T’neil, Darren, Jason, Brandon, Brent and the list is so much longer.

I don’t have time or space right now to write about my family.  That rather maudlin post will have to be a little later.  I’ll just say that I love everyone of them.  Even Danelle when she’s in a bad mood. 

Take time to tell you’re friends and family how much they mean to you.  Hope you all have a great day.  Talk to you later.  

What was it like before?

What was is like before: cell phones, computers, the internet, turn by turn navigation, satellite radio, etc.?  I’m a young 26 year old (on Nov 5th, and by the way mom, I better get a fantastic post with all sort’s of pic’s and sappy songs or I’m going to know that you really do love Nell more than me!!!)  The answer to these question’s confound me.  If you are a more “seasoned” individual (cough, cough, old) write back and let me know.

 I only know the answer to a few of these question’s.

1.Cell phones: I’m a little hazy on this one because I can barely remember what it was like.  I remember the first “car” phone that my dad got.  It was the size of a Honda and was bolted to the floor with wires running through the dash and up onto the ceiling and roof.  I remember him using the speaker phone system(this was before there were the Star Trek earpieces) I mean this thing was the size of a Taco Bell take-out speaker.  Then when people looked at him funny he got embarassed and quickly grabbed up the phone so no one would think that he was talking to himself.  Also, when I was a wee lad I always knew that the rapture hadn’t taken place because I could always find my parents on their cell phone(youknow those nokias the size of a cinder block) This fear of the rapture taking place and being left behind is a fear that only Pentecostal Preacher’s Kid’s have.  I still have it sometimes!!

2. Computers:I’m a slave to my computer.  It is the lifeblood for me at work.  If it went down I would be useless( What’s that dad?  I’m useless even now. OK, OK, more useless.  What’s that dad, not possible? Ugh) Everything that I do at work is done on my PC.  Email is vital.  It’s a secure and quick way to talk to clients.  Must have.  If it weren’t for this computer I would have hand cramp’s for the rest of my life off of one day’s ppwk that is generated by all the trading and stuff.

3. The Internet: Just as vital as the computer.  In fact, Al Gore says it’s more important because he invented it.  Just think, you get to take part in my brilliant mind and repartee because of it.

4. Turn by Turn Navigation: The saving grace of men everywhere!!! Also, one more thing that has been taken away from women (Well, honey why don’t you stop at that gas station and just ask where Cowlick Blvd is?)

5. Satellite Radio: I have at least a 1 1/2 hour commute in the morning (it’s only 54 miles one way but I live in California along with 75 billion other people all rushing frantically to work because if we don’t go our $5 million rent (not mortgage, RENT) won’t be payed).  If I’m extremely lucky it the same 90 minutes home, more than likely it stretches ooooouuuuuuttttttt.  The radio keeps me sane ( hey dad, that’s enough with the snide little comments, ok.  Yeah just go straighten your room or move your books around until there all perfectly lined up or something.) Music, sports, talk.  It is a gift from God, much like me

Nathaniel: Hebrew, gift from god.  So there.

 Better get back to work.  Break time’s over and the market’s moving.  God bless. 

I’m baaacccck!!!!!1

Below is a excerpt of the interview that I had with Larry King when he heard that I was contemplating making a come back to the world of blogging.  Enjoy.  For the full interview visit CNN.com. 

 Larry:  Than welcome to the show!

Than: It’s great to be here Larry and may I say, those are quite the suspenders that you are wearing.

Larry: Thank you.  So, you are thinking of making a comeback.  Why? Why now? And what can we expect?

Than: Well Larry, I just thought that there was a dirth of good material out there.  Most people tend to prattle on about nothing at all and I wanted to put some substance back into the world of blogging, into the “blogosphere” if you will.

Larry: What made you decide to quit back in March.  I mean this is quite the extended absence that you have taken.

Than: Larry there were quite a few things that made me stop blogging.  First, I kinda felt like it was for old people.  You know the kind of people who fall down and break elbows, and people with grandchildren.  Also, my multiple personalities couldn’t get along well enough but we’ve fixed that now. 

Larry:Do you feel like you’re up to to challenge?

Than:  Well I guess that we’re just gonna have to see.  I’m looking forward to trying at least.

DISCLAIMER: If you do not enjoy stupid, sarcastic and acerbic wit do not read this blog.  It may cause you to go into bout’s of uncontrollable “what did he just say and mean by that” fits.  May cause headache’s, nausea, and cancer. No animals were harmed in the making of this blog.

Obviously, as you can tell I have serious problems.  However, I just enjoy being me and that means that I like to laugh and I like to laugh at a lot of different stuff.  Sometime’s things that are funny to me are not funny to other people.  Hopefully that won’t be the case all the time, but I promise you it will happen occasionaly. 

 Now on to the good stuff.  We are in revival with Tim Williams, an evangelist from Kilgore, TX.  It has been phenomonal with several receiving the holy ghost and miracles happening in bunches.  You can read about the miracle of God healing my mom’s broken arm on her blog listed to the side. 

This past weekend was fantastically fantastic (my favorite new phrase that I’ve just thought up and have patented so leave it alone).  Friday night was Maximum Velocity.  I won’t spend a lot of time on that because I forgot to go into the service. OOPS!!  Saturday evening was the Stewardship Missions Conference in Modesto, CA at Modesto Revival Center pastored by Bro. Randy Keyes and Todd Johnson.  Wow.  The music was outstanding and the choir was unbelievable.  I don’t even want to know how long it took to get the song that they sang.  Bro. Jeff Morgan from Orange County preached the exact message for my life that night.  It was on faith and it really ministered to me.  So much so that I went to the altar and prayed.  I know, I know but it is true.  It does happen.  I was really touched that night. 

 Then Sunday.  Read the full account over at mom’s blog.  She was healed, we suspended normal procedure and God really moved.  Several received the Holy Ghost in spite of the shoes that Tim Williams was wearing.  Quick aside, the shoe’s that he wore last night were terrible. I told him to his face so it’s ok to write it here.  They look like zebra stripes gone wrong, with long pointy toes that could have killed a cock roach in the corner with room to spare.  NO self-respecting man wears those shoes.  And what maybe worse is he brags about owning over 50 pairs of shoes.  DUDE!  I have like maybe 8 pair of shoes including running shoes, boots, loafers and golf shoes.  Dude’s only need one pair of brown and one pair of black for dress.  Seriously, if you ever see me in shoes like that, shoot me twice in the head.  Twice to make sure the job is done.  No jury on earth will convict you. 

Anyway, it’s good to be back.  I’ll have more for you next time.  Late.