A smelly, hairy situation to say the least

27 03 2008

As is my custom on weekdays, I walked over to Peet’s to get my cup ‘o tea.   After receiving the nectar of the gods from the “barista” (can you call them baristas when they make tea?) I walked over to the area where I put in the honey and half and half and was instantly overwhelmed by a very obnoxious smell.  Obsession, circa 1985!!  A “gentleman” was standing beside me filling his coffee cup half full of non-fat milk.  The smell was overwhelming!!  My eyes started to bleed, my nostril hair was burned, my eyebrows singed, my hair was bleached blonde……you get the picture.  Wow!!  As I wiped the blood from my eyes I noticed something else.  This guy had the comb over to end all comb overs!!!  It was like a bird’s nest had settled on top of his head.  I mean think about this guy in a swimming pool…bald as a baby on top but with his wet hair streaming down to his waist.  Question…How long does it take to swirl that mess around?  An hour, two?  It has to be quite the intricate process.  Memo to all middle aged balding men.  It looks much better to keep it short rather than to try and fool all of us into thinking that you actually have a lot of hair by growing it out 3 feet long and then piling it up on top of your head in intricate S patterns!!!  Comb overs are one of the more seriously underrated “bad decisions”  of all time.  Buy a rug if you’re that self conscious about your balding dome!!  Grow your eye brow out and comb it straight back and we’ll all just think you have a seriously low hair line. But, do not, DO NOT, grow your sideburns, place a part just above your ear and then try and pass it off as a full head of hair.  Nobody is fooled, especially when the wind starts blowing and you look like a cock-a-too!!

Oh, and by the way 1985 called and wants its “eau du parfum” back!!  You’ve done enough damage today!

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7 responses

27 03 2008
Gene Holley

LOL!

27 03 2008
ryanaustindean

Holy cow…

What about those of us with enough eyebrow hair to braid them into cornrows?

That would be a great look for you my friend.

27 03 2008
Tyler Sullivan

lol

27 03 2008
Mindy

I think you and your Dad need to go golfing.

I think so too.

28 03 2008
Josh Tredway

That is great! Thanks for making me laugh. I could imagine the whole scenario. I agree bald is better than comb-overs. Just be bald and take it like a man.

There is never a situation when a man should even think about trying a comb-over

28 03 2008
Jana

ROFL Thanks for the laugh! I agree – who do these guys think they are fooling? If they have a wife, do you ever wonder what she thinks when she sees him fresh out of the shower?!?!? Okay, TMI. But, really, somebody needs to put Nair in their shampoo bottle and end their misery and save your eyes and nose. When my husband’s hair got thin on top and he started getting the Bozo effect, it was time to cut it short. Thank God he is a reasonable man and took my suggestion! LOL

Whoa, whoa. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit!

30 03 2008
Kevin Hopper

A very good description of some of the sights and smells that I have endured as well! LOL!!

These things should be against the law!!

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