Ahhh, those Aussies

14 04 2008

These were posted on an Australian tourism website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humor.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV; how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden )
Sure, it’s only three thousand miles; take lots of water.

Q: Are there any ATMs in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay ? (UK )
What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA )
Africa is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Australia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not … oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )
Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? (UK )
Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
Austria is that quaint little country bordering Germany, which is … oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney, and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
Rattlesnakes live in America, which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
Only at Christmas.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first




8 responses

14 04 2008

Man, I love Australians.

Me too, me too.

14 04 2008

I think I’ll move to Australia. 🙂


14 04 2008
James Wilder

HAHA! That was great.
I have some kin folks in Australia. I love to hear them speak too. So to hear these quick-witted responses would be even better than reading them! High heels and British politicians…hahahaha still laughing….

Classic stuff!

14 04 2008
Karla Holley

LOL!!! I love it!!

G’die mate!

14 04 2008

LOL Thanks for the laugh. I loved the answers that gave up – – “Oh, forget it, yeah it happens…” Sometimes it is easier to entertain idiots than reason with ’em.

Speaking of Australia, YOM went there a few years ago and they got to hear a symphony orchestra in the Sydney Opera House. I had just got out of the hospital and didn’t get to go that year, but Brian said he thinks Sydney is one of the most beautiful cities he’s visited and would love to go back.

I really want to visit “the land down under”. Maybe soon!

15 04 2008
Tyler Sullivan

Than, you could be the next crocodile hunter if you went. Just stay away from the stingrays….lol funny post bro. It would be awesome to go….really I have always wanted to go there. I met an some Australians on the last cruise I was on and they are some of the the neatest people to be around. Maybe its the accent.

I do have a great Aussie accent. Aussie’s do seem to be great folk.

15 04 2008

Funny stuff, still laughing!

15 04 2008
Kevin Hopper

I am still looking for Kangaroos in the street! LOL! :0) Great post!

Weeeellllllllll, I’m not sure what that says about your intake!!

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