Lost and in danger of losing it….

4 09 2008

I recently was forced to move my office.  We got a new boss and he decided that he liked my office which then required me to move into a different space.  Since we are packed there was only one space left.  My new “office” is right in the middle of an entirely different section of the office.  It’s right in the middle of a group of people who exhibit more “feminine” characteristics.  Previously I was situated with a more masculine cast of characters.  Now, without a doubt, this area of the office smells better but, there is one tiny drawback!  There is a lot more talking going on.  Now, when your previous “office mates” are a group of dudes you get used to a good morning here and there and then a lot of grunts and monosyllabic answers to any questions that are asked.  Uh, it’s just a little different here! 

It is a proven fact that women speak approximately 3 times as many words as do theircounterparts from the opposite gender.   That is just the science of it!  I’m a bachelor and during the work week I have very little contact with humanity outside of work and Wednesday night church.  Weeeelllllllll, things have changed just a bit.  I’m fastly learning that every little thing has to be discussed in great detail and then the great detail has to be broken down into even greater detail followed by an in depth explanation of why!! 

Not only do I sit in the middle of a group of the “kinder, gentler side of the species”, but all of my co-workers are from the Pacific Rim area of our great world.  Therefore, I get to hear Mandarin, Cantonese, Korean, Tagalog, Vietnamese and even a little Cambodian.  Then it is necessary for my fellow employee’s to tell each other in English what they just told the client in their native language.  There is not one minute of a single day when one of them is not talking about something.  Eh, it’s interesting.  I guess.  Somewhere in the distant past I have a memory of something like this happening to me but it has faded into oblivion.  Not only do they talk to each other but now they are expecting me to answer with more than caveman like grunts and head nods!  If I don’t I get the whole eye rolling and “rude” muttered under the breath with an accompanying head shake.  I have been forced to wear my head set and act like I’m constantly on the phone.  I simply hold up a finger and look apologetic that I’m busy talking to a client.  Unfortunately this approach won’t be able to last much longer.  I’m going to be forced to come up with another ruse.  My options at this point are to lose my hearing or jump head first into the nonsensical conversation pool and splash around with great delight!  Busted ear drums sound a little better everyday! 

I read this book one time called “Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus”.  I think the author got it wrong.  It should have been called “Men are from the Planet of the Apes (in a galaxy far far away); Women are from the Planet of Bloomingdales”.  It would at least explain why I had never heard of “jimmy choos” before. 

For all of you men that have more experience please give suggestions, better known as life preservers.  I fear I’m in danger of being skewered with “mean girl” glances or worse, stepped on with 3 inch heels!  I can feel the pain already.

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7 responses

4 09 2008
ryanaustindean

I have little to say other than this: “I’m very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very sorry.”

4 09 2008
SIS NOEL

lol fof lol I can only offer a womans perspective.
Sometimes God has a funny sense of humor..
The gift of communication takes a lot of practice!!!
Hang in there. Weeping only lasts for a day. Joy is coming one of these mornings very soon. Until then try to bore them when you speak and elaborate way to long and expound off the point.
I assure you they will stop wanting you to jump in the conversation and start to ask you questions less and less until they stop asking and just skip you altogether. Thats when Joy shows up…. You can always answer a question with another question too. Thats always annoying. The Cordovas will pray on your logistical dilemma.

4 09 2008
Tena

Hey! Look on the bright side, Than:

You have the opportunity to learn “Mandarin, Cantonese, Korean, Tagalog, Vietnamese and even a little Cambodian.” 🙂 Have fun! Hee Hee.

5 09 2008
Josh Tredway

I will pray for you during this trying situation! Remember- God delivered the Children of Isreal, Daniel and the Three Hebrew Children…and he can do it for you! HHAHA!
Hang in there man!

5 09 2008
Matt

I know how you feel. I am still an island of testosterone lost in a sea of estrogen.

6 09 2008
chandra d.

Sorry. No suggestions. I, too, am surrounded by cackling women who speak in a LOUD spanish/english mixture. I’m a female that needs space and quiet; the less questions asked the better!

16 09 2008
danelle

Hahahahaha!!!! That is hilarious! And a little sad. But not really. I agree with sis. Noel. Be as completly boring as possible. Especially in a fast paced office if you take forever to answer… Could be aggravating! Or just win them over with your charm then they’ll do whatever you want including being quite! Hehe

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